Star Traks: Banshee "TRAVELERS" By Brad Dusen Commander Burns staggered onto the bridge half an hour late for her shift. "You're late, Charlotte." Jad turned to her. Charlotte stumbled down the ramp and ordered a coffee from the replicator below the ship's dedication plaque. After gulping down the whole cup in a single swallow, she turned and said, "I'm sorry, Captain. I don't know WHY, but I'm sorry. There were some work crews sealing the hull breaches near my quarters and they were making too much noise." "That's what it was." Jad nodded. "I thought Lieutenants Wallace and Freeman were having another lover's quarrel." "Wait, I thought they were those two women who worked in the arboretum." Charlotte was confused. "They are." "Hey now!" Ben smiled. "Here anything on any other nights, Captain?" "I suppose you'd like sensor footage of their bedroom." Jad turned to the horny helmsman. "That would be nice." Ben said innocently. "Then why don't you ask them for it?" "I will." Ben said. "First, prepare to depart. Repairs are complete, we're as good as new." Dave turned from the engineering console. "Joy." The others moaned. "We're going to be testing Section Thirty-One's new ultra transwarp engines." Dave announced. "Ultra transwarp?" Jad asked. "It allows us to almost instantly jump to various locations across the galaxy." "Bitchin'!" Jad smiled. "Ben, prepare to take us out, aft thrusters ahead at 25%." The Banshee lightly shook as it flew backwards against the back wall of the station. "I said AFT thrusters, not go aft!" Vorezze screamed. "Sorry." Ben quickly reversed course. "Captain's log, stardate 51788.2: After being confined to the spacedock for a month, ugh!, we are about to test a promising new technology called ultra-transwarp. Granted, such technologies were attempted by Starfleet before, such as the Excelsior, but I'm confident that we're just so special that the technology will work. Now, not to insult Commander Rachows, ahem, 'abilities,' but the computer is taking over all transwarp flight controls to make sure we don't accidentally fly into a star or planet; that would REALLY suck, considering the repairs we just completed. We are now en route to a region of space called the Kraalk Expanse, where we will test the technology and see just how badly it sucks." "So what are the results, doc?" Commander Rachow asked Dr. Issac as he finished his biyearly physical. "I'll bet I'm in perfect health." "You're 30% overweight." Brian said almost jubilantly. "WHAT!?" Ben bellowed. "According to what?" "The Federation Weight Guide's listing for Humans." Brian responded. "You need to diet." "I've survived the Borg, Vorans, evil spirits and death, and I have a weight problem?" Ben asked. "You shouldn't eat so much at the victory celebrations. Peter's bon-bons may taste good, but they go straight to your gut!" Brian poked Ben in the gut. Ben let out a high pitched laugh like the Pillsbury Dough- boy. "Ooh hoo!" "Fun!" Brian poked him again. "Ooh hoo!" Again. "Ooh hoo!" Again. "Ooh hoo!" Again. "Okay, stop!" Ben said. "Sorry." Brian set the PADD down on his desk and walked back into the main section of sickbay. "But I'm serious. Now I'm instructing the computer to give you only lowfat foods in the replicators." "What!? Oh come on, that's unfair." "I know." Brian smiled. "Have a nice day, Commander." "How about 'The Infinity Room'?" Peter asked as he wiped off the dark, semi-luminescent blue top of the bar. "Doesn't have that nice ring to it." Vince shook his head. "What about 'The Singing Banshee'?" Peter was trying to pick a name for the lounge. All ships had names for their lounge. The Enterprise-D had Ten-Forward, the Secondprize had Seven-Backward, the Aerostar had the Starlight Lounge. The Challenger called their lounge Shuttlebay Four. "Too cheesy." Vince shook his head. "What else do you have?" "Ummm..." Pete smiled, "The Twilight Zone!" Vince looked around the lounge. It was larger than the lounges on Galaxy-Class starships, the tabletops glowed a soft shade of dark blue that matched the carpet, rather than white, it had gold walls like the rest of the ship and it was more colorful with red and gold recessed lights. It looked like a lounge at twilight. "Perfect." Vince nodded. "Attention everybody!" Peter called above the soft lounge music pumped in through the comm system. "The lounge is now officially named the Twilight Zone." Peter smiled. The patrons gave an uninterested "Ehh" before turning back to their meals. "They were riveted, Pete." Vince tapped Pete on the shoulder before leaving the Twilight Zone. "I'm glad we finally got a chance to do this." Axik smiled as she and Jad sat in an offset booth in the Twilight Zone. A few other officers were milling around in there, but the lounge was, for the most part, calm. "Me too." Jad said. He wore a black and hunter green suit that he had purchased on Delnar V. The two stared at each other for a moment. Jad gazed into Axik's clear blue eyes and she looked back into his green eyes. "May I take your order?" The Vulcan waiter walked up to them. "In a minute." Jad said. The waiter walked away. "You know, there's an unwritten rule that says captains shouldn't become in- volved in a romantic relationship with one of his officers." "I'm sorry, sir, I just don't swing that way." The waiter called. "Not you!" Jad called after him, then turned back to Axik. "Really..." Axik smiled. "Of course I've never believed in that rule." "Me neither." Jad smiled. The two moved their heads closer together. Closer still, their lips almost touching. "Are you ready now, sir?" The waiter returned. The two quickly split apart. "I said in a minute." Jad turned to the Vulcan. "A minute has elapsed." The waiter retorted. "Look, just come back here when we call you over here." Jad smiled. The waiter left and he turned back to Axik. "Have I ever told you what beautiful eyes you have?" Axik asked as she removed the captain's thin wire-framed glasses. "Why do you wear these, anyway?" She asked. "I was born blind. Unlike other blind people, who have to use VISORs or artificial eyes, I was able to get treatment by a doctor on Betazed. I can now see perfectly, but I'm still totally blind without my glasses." Vorezze explained. "Sorry." Axik put the glasses back on the captain. "You have very nice eyes, too." Jad said. "You think so?" Axik asked. "Very nice." The two moved in closer again, almost kissing. "Well would you like a drink, then?" The same waiter returned, interrupting them. "Don't you have any other customers?" Jad asked. "No." The Vulcan said. Jad groaned. "Fine, I'll have an Arcturian Fizz." "Same." Axik said. As the waiter walked away, the two instantly embraced. "How could you do this to me!?" Ben asked as he stormed into sickbay, holding a rice cake. "Do what?" Brian asked innocently from behind his desk. "These things are terrible!" He held up the rice cake. "And that's all any replicator on the ship has been giving me!" "You have to lose weight, Commander." "Who are you to decide that? What gives you the right to play God!?" Ben demaned. Brian quickly activated his display. "Computer, display Star- fleet Medical Charter, section seven, paragraph three, line four." He turned his display to Ben so he could read it. "'Chief medical officers have the right to play God.'" Ben read. "Eat up, Commander." Brian turned the display back around. "You're going to need your strength for my prescribed aerobic workout on holodeck 2 at 1600 hours." "WHAT!?" "Doctor's orders." Brian cackled. "All bridge officers report to the bridge." Vorezze said over the comm. "God that sounds redundant, ah what do you care?" "Oh, it looks like I'll be busy on the bridge." Ben grinned as he raced out of sickbay. "Course laid in." Charlotte read off her nearby control panel. "We are going to try to go to the Delta Quadrant, approximately 70,000 from out current position." "That should be an adequate jump." Velorn analized the readings as Ben walked onto the bridge. "And what do we do if the new engines can't get us back?" Jad asked. "Ever feel like getting to know the crew of the Voyager?" Charlotte asked. "Not really," Jad paused, "but I do have the faint recollection of somewhere reading that Captain Janeway give good... never mind." He shook it off and pressed his combadge. "All hands, this is the bridge. We are about to engage the ultra-transwarp engines so I suggest you find something to hold onto. However, that something does not mean you should grab your neighbor's ass. That is all." Charlotte and Velorn looked at Vorezze. "Hey, you never know." Vorezze turned to Ben. "Engage." The Banshee's engine nacelles turned a shade of bright white, letting out an intense flash as the ship raced forward into the galaxy, faster than even sensors could record. Captain Janeway was simply bored out of her head. The Hirogens were gone, the Borg were long behind and the only source of amusement she could find was the fact that someone had pinned a sign reading "Hung like a tic-tac" on the back of Lieutenant Paris. She assumed it was Lieutenant Torres. Janeway looked at her viewsceen. Nothing but stars. She looked a little closer. A star was getting larger, coming right for them. No, it was a ship. In a lightning fast blur, a vessel, looking almost Federation, raced across the screen. "Tom, what was that?" Janeway stood up. Paris suddenly awoke from a light doze. "Uhh, wha..?" "I just saw a ship, it looked Federation!" Paris looked down at the sensors. "Sensors report nothing unusual." "Tuvok?" Janeway turned hopefully. "My readings confirm those of Mr. Paris's. Captain, perhaps you should get some rest, you have had a long day." Janeway sighed, then chuckled. "I suppose you're right. After all, it's not like there's a Federation ship with transwarp technology." She walked into a turbolift. Captain Vorezze was pretty much glued to the back of his chair as the Banshee tore through space faster than a refried beans through a human intestinal tract. "Okay, that's enough." The captain said weakly. The Banshee slammed to a stop. "Report." Vorezze stood up. "We're approximately 70,000 light-years from Federation space." Axik said. "Sensors report a large debris field, possibly what's left of a space station." "Captain, there are several vessels coming into visual range." Vince reported. "On screen." The viewer blinked onto the image of three mean looking vessels. Two were small, orangish craft which looked vaguely like staightenend out commas from the front. The one in the middle was huge, nothing else could describe it. "According to this, these craft are identical to craft seen in the Delta Quadrant by the USS Voyager." Vince said. "Kazon spacecraft." "Friendly?" Jad asked. "Sir, we're getting a message from them: 'Die like the wimpering animals you Humans are!'" Axik said. "I guess that answers that question." Vorezze grumbled. "And I'm not even Human, I'm Betazoid! Hail the lead ship." The image of an almost sunburned alien with what looked like an Afro puff with various pieces of hardware caught in it appeared. "I am Jal Devos of the Kazon-Ogla." "I am Captain Jad Vorezze of the Federation starship Banshee." Vorezze stood up and said. "Federation, I knew it!" "I take it your experiences with other ships of Federation registry have not made you particularly friendly towards us." Vorezze them muttered, "Not that it would take much." "You are of the same species as the Voyager!" Devos shouted. "No, Captain Janeway is Human, I'm a Betazoid." "May you die with a least one shred of honor, Human!" "BETAZOID!!" Vorezze screamed. "Sir, they're powering weapons." Vince reported. "The lead ship might be a smidge hard to destroy, seeing as thought it's roughly three times our size." Vorezze looked out at the Predator-Class Kazon ship. "We just got repaired. Fine, set the following course in: 122 mark 277." "That would take us into the Gamma Quadrant." Ben said. "I know." Vorezze leaned back. "Engage!" As the massive warship fired, the Banshee high-tailed it out of there. Captain Janeway lay awake in bed, staring out the windows in her quarters. That was odd. Another star was moving. Maybe it was a comet. No, it was a ship. Janeway stared at it as it got closer. She was positive it was a Federation starship, though the design was unfamiliar to her. It zoomed past Voyager a lightning speed. "Janeway to bridge, did you see it!?" Janeway asked. "See what, Captain?" Chakotay asked over the comm. "I just saw a ship! It was a Federation ship, I know it was!" Janeway protested. "Sensors do not show anything unusual. There are no ships nearby, nor have there been in the last two days." Tuvok said. "I'm sending the Doctor down to have a look at you. Chakotay out." Janeway grumbled as she climbed back into bed. "Okay, let's see what's out there." Vorezze said as the Banshee dropped out of ultra-transwarp. "We're deep in the Gamma Quadrant now, near Dominion space." Ben reported. "Get ready to get us out of here, just in case." "Sir, there's a planet nearby." Vince said. "Class M with a mostly liquid surface." "Charlotte, Dan, Vince." Jad motioned to them. The three headed off towards the transporter room. The sky was a brownish yelow the the huge sea looked like it was computer generated or something. Dan looked around the otherwise barren world. "Hey Vince, get a sample of that water, Liz might be interested in it." Dan motioned to the gooey sludge. Vince reached down and scooped up some of the water. "Owww!" The water seemed to shouted. "What?" Vince turned back to Dan and Charlotte. "We didn't say anything." Charlotte shrugged. Vince turned back to the water as a hand reached out and grabbed him. "AHHH!" He fell into the water. "Burns to Banshee." Charlotte hit her combadge. "What is it, Commander?" Vorezze asked. "Vince was just eaten by the ocean." Vince came flying out of the water, looking dazed and confused. "Never mind, the ocean didn't want him. We now know that NOBODY does." A figure emerged from the water, wearing a tan tight fitting outfit, her hair combed back and her features flattened. A Changeling. "Banshee, three to beam up!" Charlotte screamed. Charlotte, Vince and the Changeling woman were beamed up. Charlotte saw the Changeling standing next to her on the transporter pad. "I meant Dan!" She shouted to Cellis. "Oops." Cellis said innocently. The Changeling was quickly replaced by Dan. The female Changeling found herself back on the planet. "Well that was odd." She said, then melted into a puddle and slithered back into the ocean. The bridge doors opened as Charlotte, Vince and Dan emerged from the turbolift. "Captain, we're at the Changeling homeworld." Charlotte said. "Well that can't be good." Jad said. "Jem'Hadar attack ships coming in!" "New heading, 322 mark 211." Jad said. "That would take us back to the Delta Quadrant." "I know. Engage!" The Banshee streaked into space as the first wave of Jem'Hadar vessels came at them. "My guess is that it would be simple fatigue." Voyager's EMH said as he examined Captain Janeway in her quarters. "Try to get some rest. There are no starships out there, Captain." He folded up his medical tricorder and walked out of the room. "The Doctor's right." Janeway sighed. "There are no ships out there. It's just my imagination." Janeway watched the Banshee fly by in ultra-transwarp. "DOCTOR!" "Try it here." Vorezze said. The Banshee slowed down as a large planet became visible on the viewer. "Sir, I am detecting a massive population on the planet." Axik said. "1 trillion people, all Borg." "Sir, there are seventeen cubeships heading towards us." Vince warned. "Yikes! New heading! 147 mark 023." "Incoming message." "We are the Borg, resistance is futile. Drop your shields and surrender your ship we-" "Engage!" "will add your biological and... hey, where'd you go? Aww..." "Just try to rest, Captain." The EMH said comfortingly. "I know I saw a ship out there!" Janeway protested. "I'm not crazy!!" "That's not what I hear people saying in the mess hall." The Doctor folded up his medical tricorder. "Now where do you say you're seeing these phantom ships?" He asked. "Right out there!" Janeway pointed to her window. "Now I'll show you that there are no..." The Doctor was cut off as the Banshee zipped by. "Computer, run diagnostic on the Emergency Medical Hologram." "Okay, now where are we?" Vorezze asked. "We are in a system of several planets. Many of them are inhabited." Axik said. "Sir, there's a warship heading towards are position. Unknown configuration. They're hailing us, audio only." "On speakers." "Federation sssssstarship. We are the Flarn. You will ssssurrender and be our sssssnacksssss or be dessssstroyed." A voice on the other end rasped. "We just have such a reputation throughout the galaxy." Vorezze sighed. "Sir, they're charging weapons." "Raise shields and prepare to go back into ultra-transwarp." Vorezze said. "New heading, 116 mark 242." "Federation vesssssel. Sssssssurrender and we promisssssssse not to put you in the presssssssure cooker." "I don't even want to know. Engage!" "I'm sure there has to be a reasonable explanation for this." Chakotay said as he paced Voyager's conference room. "Maybe this is just some trick being played on us by Q." He offered. "Q wouldn't be THAT mean." Janeway said. "He insists on calling me Chuckles and you says he's not that mean?" Chakotay asked. "Look, what if the Federation is conducting test runs of some type of transwarp drive." Torres shrugged. "This could be a rescue craft attempting to find us." "Captain, we're getting some odd readings." A voice said from the bridge, you'd better come out here." "Captain, there is a Federation starship in our flight path." Axik said. "Intrepid-Class, NCC-74656. It's the Voyager." Vorezze thought for a moment. "Perhaps we should rescue them." "I would recommend against that." Velorn quipped. "As a Section Thirty-One vessel, we are to remain unseen to the rest of Starfleet. It's bad enough that you broke that rule with the Secondprize." "But these poor people have been out here nearly four years!" Vorezze said. "Well if we don't do something, we're going to end up ramming into them!" Ben shouted. "Drop out of transwarp, maneuver around them and reengage." Velorn said. "Do it." Vorezze confirmed. The Banshee suddenly appeared next to Voyager, swerved around them, and flew off. "Captain, the transwarp engines are overheating. We have to give them a rest of a few minutes." Dave said from the engineering console. "Plot a course away from Voyager, warp nine, engage!" "Please tell me the rest of you saw that." Janeway said, her mouth dropping open. "Yes captain." Chakotay mumbled. "I am unfamiliar with that vessel's design, but it was Federation, flying away from us at warp nine." "Tom, follow them, maximum warp!" Janeway said. Voyager bent her wings and warped off after the Banshee. "Sir, Voyager's in pursuit." Axik said. The captain grumbled. "How long until we can reengage?" "Ten minutes, captain." Dave said. "You have five." "But sir!" "If Scotty and LaForge can do it than you... most... likely..." Vorezze paused. "Never mind. Just finish it as soon as possible." "Sir, Voyager is overtaking us." Ben said. "We have one of the fastest warp engines in Starfleet and Voyager has just overtaken us." "You asked for warp nine, not maximum warp." Ben retorted. "Slow to impluse, they've already seen us." Vorezze grumbled. "This is not good." Velorn said. "Oh cram it!" Vorezze stood. "Hail the Voyager." "We're being hailed by the vessel. According to this, it is the USS Banshee. I cannot identify the class, however. It was most likely recently launched." Tuvok said. "On screen." Janeway turned to the viewer. "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager." The bridge on the other end was a Galaxy-Class with side stations where equipment access panels would normally be and the lighting was much more subdued. Janeway saw a tall, young looking man in a completely black uniform and glasses walk down the two steps that raised the three command chairs above the rest of the bridge. "I am Captain Jad Vorezze of the starship Banshee. I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding." Vorezze said. "Not at all." Janeway smiled. "You can get us home!" Vorezze looked around nervously. "Yeah, well, that's where we hit a slight snag in the plan. See, you're not supposed to know we exist." Janeway's mouth dropped open. She didn't know whether to curse or cry. "Perhaps I should beam your senior staff aboard so that I can... explain our little situation." Vorezze added. "By all means." Janeway said. Voyager's senior staff looked around, admiring the architecture of the observation lounge and how it was so much more spacious than theirs. "Captain," Tuvok said, looking at the display on the wall. "According to this, the Banshee is a Sovereign-Class Federation starship that is part of Section Thirty-One." "Section Thirty-One?" Janeway was confused. "The Federation's secret service if you will." A voice called from behind them. Captain Vorezze walked into the observation lounge with two others. "This is my Section Thirty-One guide officer, Captain Velorn." Janeway shook the Vulcan's hand. "And this is my first officer, Commander Charlotte Burns." Janeway reluctantly shook Charlotte's hand. "Please take a seat." The rest of the Voyager's command crew sat down. "The Banshee is currently doing test flights for a new Federation technology called ultra-transwarp." Vorezze explained. "And as much as we'd love to take you people home, we cannot." "What?" Was the question coming from everybody's mouth. "Section Thirty-One is a division of Starfleet of which this ship belongs. Our mission is to protect the Federation at all costs while hiding our identity to the rest of the galaxy." "Can't you make an exception?" Chakotay asked. "We already made an exception for another ship we helped out. The Secondprize." Velorn explained. "And our commanders were not all that pleased about it." "So you're just going to leave us here?" Torres asked. "Umm, excuse me..." A fuzzy alien said from the back of the table, "Mr. Betazoid?" "What is it, Mr..." "Neelix." The alien responded, "I have been with this crew since they first arrived in the Delta Quadrant, and I've never thought a crew is more deserving to return home than this crew." Vorezze attempted to figure out what the hell Neelix was talking about, then just shook his head and said, "Maybe in a few years, the actual Starfleet will finish work on these test flights and send a ship out here for you. In fact, I will make it a point to do that as soon as we get home." The crew looked strangely depressed. "And finally, just to make you not so miserable, mind wipes for everyone!" Vorezze smiled, hopping to his feet. "Errr..." Voyager's command crew piled out of the observation lounge. "Captain's log, stardate 51789.3: Voyager's crew has been returned to their ship and, just to be a little nice, we've tractored them a few hundred light-years closer to home. We are now getting ready to depart." "The crew of the Voyager should be waking up soon." Axik said. "With our planted evidence, they'll think that enviromental controls shorted out and leaked anesthezine into their air supply." "Let's just hope they don't notice those five hundred light- years we tractored them through." Vorezze muttered. "Ben, set a course back home." "Course laid in." Ben said. "Engage." The Banshee darted off as the crew of Voyager woke up. "What happened?" Janeway asked, getting up and feeling groggy. Ensign Kim shook his head. "It looks like the enviromental controls shorted out and leaked anesthezine all over the ship." Janeway shook it off. "Tom, put us on course back to the Alpha Quadrant." "Yes ma'am." Paris said as Voyager warped off, continuing its long voyage home. "You're report, Captain?" Admiral Newman asked as the Banshee pulled up to the Section Thirty-One spacedock. "The ultra-transwarp engines worked perfectly." Vorezze said. "But there is something we've learned." "And what is that?" Newman asked. "For some odd reason, the rest of the galaxy doesn't like us." Jad shook his head. "I can't imagine why." Newman shook his head. "Oh, and admiral." "What, Captain?" "Someday, when this technology is made public, make it a point to rescue the crew of the Voyager." Newman nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Newman out." "We're ready to remove the ultra-transwarp components so they can be worked on some more." Dave said. Vorezze sat back down in his command chair. "Okay." He sighed, the said, "Good luck, Captain Janeway."