Star Traks: Banshee "Shatterframe" By Brad Dusen The Twilight Zone was crowded for the ususal lunchtime rush. Peter was moving around quickly inside of the square shaped 3 sided bar, dispensing drinks and food from the mini-transporter platform. "So what do you say?" Captain Vorezze asked Commander Tagel as the two sat at a secluded table near the massive bay windows overlooking the spectacular vista of stars suspended in infinity. "Sounds good." Axik smiled. "Holodeck 3 at 2200 hours." "Captain, I am detecting what looks like a Cardassian transport ship." Lt. Cmdr. Vincent DiSanto read off his sensor display. Velorn sat in the command chair. "Can you tell what the ship is carrying?" "It looks like weapons." Vince said. "Disrupter rifles, plasma torpedoes and Galor-Class plasma banks." "Velorn to Vorezze. We are tracking a Cardassian freighter that looks to be transporting weapons, should we attack?" "Be my guest, Velorn." Captain Vorezze said on the other end of the comm. "Very well, then." Velorn said indifferently. "Mr. DiSanto, lock weapons and open fire." A loud shrill came from the ship as a gold beam was seen shooting forward on the viewer, hitting the freighter. "No effect, Captain." Vince said. "Photon torpedoes." "Ready." "Fire." Three gold balls of light flashed forward on the viewer, knocking the freighter off course slightly. "Sir, they're returning fire." Vince said. "Raise shields and decloak." Velorn said. "Red alert." The Banshee rocked as the freighter shot back. "They must be armed with the most powerful shields and weapons as the Cardassian's disposal." Vince remarked. "Quantum torpedoes, fire." Velorn ordered. Five bright white orbs shot from the Banshee, blasting the freighter to pieces. "Captain, I am detecting some type of program in the bridge's computers." Vince said. "It looks like..." Vince was cut off as every panel on the bridge suddenly exploded, knocking him and most everyone else down. "Computer, what happened?" Velorn asked. There was no response. "Computer?" "Damn!" Vince shouted as he got up. "The freighter must have uploaded a program into the bridge. The entire system has been knocked out." "Such a degree of damage would require and entirely new bridge module." Velorn said. "Yup." Vince said grimly. "DiSanto to battle bridge." "Rayhan here." "Prepare to transfer all computer controls there, the main bridge has been lost." "Understood, sir." "WHAT!?" Vorezze screamed as he walked onto the life- less main bridge. "You mean to tell me that a Cardassian freighter completely disabled our bridge!?" "Yes sir." Vince said. "So clearly, this is not our fault." "I beg to differ." Jad smiled. "I do believe it would be prudent to check our entire system for viruses or other computer errors." Velorn said. "Agreed." Jad sighed. "Have you contacted the nearest starbase?" "Yes, sir. They will have a new bridge module ready to replace the last one." "Which class will this be?" Vorezze asked, dreading to know the answer. "The same type as this one, a type 2 Galaxy-Class." Vince said. "With the Sovereign-Class ready room and observation lounge. "How long?" Jad fought off an oncoming headache. "A week." "Fine, set a course for starbase..." "316" "316, warp nine." "Tell that to the battle bridge." Velorn said. "We can't do a thing from up here." Vorezze grumbled as he stormed off. Commander David Riley walked in circles around the base of the warp core, somewhat mesmerized by the red flashes of light shooting upwards into the dilithium crystal chamber. "So what are you going to do during your shore leave?" He asked his assistant chief engineer, a Bolian named Serric. "I think I'll hop a transport to Pacifica, I could stand to blue myself." Serric said. "I've been looking very aqua lately." Dave nodded. "I heard that 316 has a great entertainment community." "Strip clubs?" "Yup." A console nearby beeped. "That's odd." Dave said as he read the display. "What is it?" Serric asked. "For a brief moment, there was a malfunction in the ODN conduit on deck 23, but it looks like it fixed itself." "Do ODN conduits do that?" "No, I'd better check it out." Dave picked up a repair kit. "Serric, you're in charge, don't get the ship assimilated or anything." "I'll try to resist my tempation." Serric said dryly, leaning against the guardrail around the warp core. Dave walked down a series of hallways until he came upon the wall hatch leading into the Jefferies tubes. After climbing in, he crawled down a series of tubes until he reached the small control room where the ODN controls were. "Computer, run a level 3 diagnostic on the ODN conduits on deck 23." "ODN conduits are functioning within established parameters." The computer responded. Dave opened a wall panel and saw the controls flickering, changing from Federation to some other type of control interface that Dave wasn't familiar with. "Computer, is there anything wrong with these controls?" "Negative." "Computer, is there anything wrong with you?" "Negative." Dave shook his head and gathered up his tools. Then the hatch to the Jefferies tubes sealed, trapping him in the small room. "Computer, open the hatch." Dave said. "Unable to comply. Opening the hatch would allow an intruder access to the ship." "WHAT!?" Dave screamed. "Have a nice day." A wall panel slid aside as a wall- mounted security phaser shot Dave, stunning him for the next five hours or so. "I hate this, I'm too claustrophobic!" Vorezze said as he paced the battle bridge. "Sir, with all due respect, this is a fine bridge." Charlotte said from the table near the back. "And this type serves as the main bridge for Defiant-Class starships." "Yes, but this isn't a Defiant-Class starship, now is it?" Vorezze snapped. "I never realized this was so much of a problem for you." Charlotte grinned. "You're a blind, claustrophobic, Betazoid who doesn't use his mental powers." "I learned to turn them off so that I wouldn't be subjected to the twenty-four hour a day porn channel called Commander Rachow's mind." Ben turned from the U-shaped helm console. "Hey, I work my ass off to entertain myself. Much like Vince does to entertain himself." Vince pushed a few controls and Ben's station sparked, sending him flying backwards. "Oh, I must have activated the combat simulation." Vince said innocently. "Oops." Ben grumbled as he made his way back up. The timer on the controls mounted near the command chair beeped. "Oh, it looks like I have to go. Velorn, you have the battle bridge." "Captain, please, don't leave me alone with them!" Velorn pleaded. "Too bad!" Vorezze snapped. Lieutenant Serric stood in Engineering, looking over the balcony, into the main chamber. "Where is Commander Riley?" He asked. A few of the engineers shrugged. "Computer, where's Commander Riley?" "Lieutenant Commander Riley is not on board the Banshee." The computer announced. "Where did he go?" "Unknown." The computer said. Serric looked concerned. "Serric to bridge." "BATTLE bridge here." Velorn said. "I'm sorry, BATTLE bridge." Serric corrected himself. "I can't find Commander Riley." "Did you ask the computer?" "Yes." He replied snottily. "Well what do you want us to do?" "I thought I'd report it and get someone else working on it. I'm an engineer, not a security guard." "Fine, I'll get Commander Smith working on it." Velorn sighed. After a moment, Serric muttered, "Vulcan putz!" "I heard that!" "YAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!" Captain Vorezze and Commander Tagel shouted in unison as they fell from a runabout several kilometers above the surface of what was most likely either Trill or Bolarus. "What was this called again?" Jad shouted as the wind whipped past his face. "Sky surfing!" Axik called out. The ground loomed closer. "When should I deploy my parachute?" Jad called out. "Now!" Axik said. The captain pulled on the cord, but the chute didn't open. "Axik, is a holographic parachute supposed to fail?" "No, but both of ours did." "We did engage the safety protocols, right?" "Yeah, but this is still going to hurt." The ground was very close now as the two fell. Closer, closer, closer SPLAT!! Axik removed herself from the ten centimater indentation that she had made in the ground. "Computer, is there anything wrong with holodeck 3?" "No, Commander, I don't think so." A woman's voice called from behind. Axik and Jad spun around to see an all to familiar looking Vorta standing there. "Hanock." Jad uttered. "How preceptive." Hanock replied. "Actually, this is only a holographic representation of me. The real Hanock is most likely on Cardassia Prime." "What the hell is going on?" Axik asked. "Allow me to explain. We purposely sent a freighter into your flight path so that you would attack it. The freighter would then load a computer virus into your computer system by sending back over your own phaser beam. Clever, isn't it?" "Wonderful." Vorezze leaned back against a tree. "Computer, exit." Nothing. "Oh, and you now have no control over your computer. It now thinks that the Banshee is a Cardassian vessel that has been taken over by hostile Federation forces. Have a nice day." Hanock faded into oblivion. "That bitch!" Axik screamed. "Of all the sneaky things to do to a ship." "I don't think that she's the worse of our problems. If the computer thinks that we're intruders on a Cardassian ship, then we, and the rest of the crew, could be in trouble." "He's nowhere to be found." Dan said as he walked onto the battle bridge. "It is illogical to assume that just because you failed at the task of finding Commander Riley that he is therefor unable to be found." "Logic this, logic that, if you think your precious logic can find him, then you go look." "I don't have to, I'm in command." Velorn replied almost snottily as he turned back in his monochrome chair. "What the..?" Ben said from the conn. "What is it, Commander?" Velorn got up. "For a moment, the display converted to what looks like the Cardassian 'shatterframe' style controls." "Cardassian, eh?" Velorn began rubbing his chin. "Computer, scan for computer viruses or other types of program." "Unable to comply." The computer said. "Why not?" "Only crewmembers can access such computer functions." "But I am a crewmember." Velorn protested. "Negative. There are no Vulcans in the Cardassian military." "What the hell does that have to do with it, this is a Starfleet vessel." Ben turned, starting to laugh. "Getting a little emotional there, Captain." Velorn walked over and did the Vulcan neck pinch on Ben, causing him to slump over his console. "Negative, this is the Caradassain warship Banshee. Intruders have been detected in the command areas. Engaging countermeasures." "WHAT!?" A hiss filled the room as a cloud of anesthezine filled the battle bridge. "Oh..." Velorn fell to his knees. "Shit..." "That's..." Ben choked, "not..." chough!, "very... logical... language..." Vorezze and Axik paced the length of the field which they had landed in. Hanock's hologram appeared again. "Well, it looks like your battle bridge has been nuetralized, now, with complete computer control, we're now on course for Cardassian space. I'm sure that Dominion scientists will be more than eager to examine one of the most powerful class of Federation starship." Hanock grinned. "And they will be more than happy to interrogate the crew for all the information they know about Section Thirty-One." "Interrogating the crew for vital information would be like squeezing a dry sponge, you realize." Vorezze piped in. "Maybe so, but I'm sure that your Vulcan advisor would have a bit more to say, having been in Section Thirty-One for several years now." Hanock dissapeared, the fizzled back into existance to say, "Oh, and by the way, I deleted that novel you were working so hard on for the past three years." Hanock chuckled, then vansihed. Vorezze threw his arms up in rage and looked up at the sky. "HANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!!!!!" Commander Smith crawled through the Jeffries tubes on deck 24 when he came across a body. It was Commander Riley, shot on stun by the wall mounted security phaser. "Smith to battle bridge." No response. "Smith to battle bridge, come in, please." Still nothing. "Computer, is there a problem with the communications system to the battle bridge?" "Negative." The computer replied. "Then why isn't anyone answering me." "The battle bridge has been cleared of the Federation invaders." The computer said. "Warning, intruder in Deck 24, section 13 alpha." "Huh?" Dan looked around. The wall phaser activated, shooting Dan on stun. He proceeded to fall unconscious right on top of Dave. "Hey, Captain, I have the search reports from deck 23 you said you wanted." Carn said as he walked onto the battle bridge, only to find everyone passed out. "Oh, that's not normal." "Warning, intruders on the battle bridge, venting anesthezine." Carn sniffed around as the noxious gas drifted around him. "Okay, Ms. Computer is going a little nuts today." He said, then walked over to the helm. "Computer, why have we changed course to Cardassian space?" "Because." "Why!?" "Because I said so!" The computer snapped. Carn tossed Ben out of the way. "Alter course for 233 mark 007 and maintain speed." "Unable to comply." "And why the hell not?" "Becuase this vessel is supposed to return to Cardassian space if intruders take over the ship." "Why would a Federation starship return to Cardassian space?" "This is the Cardassian warship Banshee." "Hello! Look at the shape of this ship. It looks nothing like a Cardassian starship." "Irrelevant." Carn leaned back in the chair. "Computer, where is the main computer core located?" "Deck 17, section 5." The computer paused. "Wait, why am I telling you?" "Because I'm a command-level officer." Carn got up. "Thank you." "Hey! Come back!" "I could start to wonder how long this will go on." Captain Vorezze said, pacing the field. "You know, instead of pacing the holodeck, you could always do something constructive." Axik said, sitting in a field of long grass. "Like this." She held up a huge wreath of braided grass. "Where did you learn how to do that?" "A course at Starfleet Academy, Martha Stewart 101." There was a distant rumbling, like something mechanical. Hanock suddenly appeared again. "Well, Captain, I'm sure you'll be thrilled to know that I have created a little something fun for you and Commander Tagel to do." The mechanical rumbling got closer. "You see," Hanock continued, "I have created a little something for you, and I've taken the liberty of disengaging the computer's safety protocols. Have fun." She smiled, then vanished. "What was that about?" Vorezze stood up. An army of hockey mask clad chainsaw wielding men came running over the hill. Axik shot up. "This could be a problem." Carn ran thought the halls of deck 17, finally reaching the doors to the main computer control room. It was sealed with a force field. "Computer, drop force field, authorization Carn alpha seven two three nine." "Unable to comply." Carn shook his head and dropped to his knees in front of the door, opening a nearby wall panel and fiddling with the isolinear chips. The forcefield quickly fell and he ran into the control room. The main computer hummed in the center of the room, surrounded by control panels with Cardassian controls. Carn quickly set to work, first isolating the backup computer core located in the saucer section. "Computer, perform a complete systems purge of everything that entered the mainframe as of stardate 52802.3." "If that didn't work once, Lieutenant, then it won't work again." "Okay, we'll have to do this the fun way." Carn walked over and popped a control panel on the main computer. "Run!" Jad said as he and Axik ran as the band of chainsaw bandits ran at them, slashing the air before them. They gained. "Two minutes until we reach the Cardassian border." The computer recited. "More than enough time." Carn said as he worked on the control panel. He performed a lightning fast series of operations, then stood back and grabbed his phaser. "Uh oh." The computer said. Carn shot the computer core. It went dark and the displays around them turned back to Federation standard. "Computer, reroute all command functions to the secondary computer core and initiate emergency purging for a computer virus." "Purging complete. Virus eliminated." "Put us back on course and re-engage the cloak." "Done." Carn sighed with relief. "Get away!" Jad screamed as the chainsaw bandit ran at him. "Take him!" Axik hid behind Jad. "Holodeck computer control reinitiated." The computer announced. "Remove the chainsaw people!" The figures fell, leaving their chainsaws behind. Hanock appeared on the holodeck. "DAMN! You got through it." The hologram grumbled. "Hey Hanock." Jad said, picking up the chain saw. "Wha... GET AWAY!" She ran away. "Come here!" Jad screamed, chasing after her with the chainsaw in hand. Axik got up and shook her head. "Computer, exit." "Captain's log, stardate 52803.1: The computer virus has been eliminated and we have arrived at starbase 316 for repair. Commanders Smith and Riley have been found, stunned from a security phaser. It goes without saying that after recent events, most people will be spending their time on the starbase." Dr. Liz Lang walked onto holodeck 3, prepared for a perfect day of alpine skiing when she saw something in the corner. Walking over, she saw what looked like a holographic Vorta which had been torn up by a chainsaw. Liz paused, thinking for a moment. "The captain must have a new hobby." NEXT: Is Carn god? The natives on one planet seem to think so. Can the crew pull the android from his divine perch in "Prophecy Fulfilled?"