Star Traks: Banshee "Resistance is Futile, Part I" By Brad Dusen "Send a distress call! This is the USS Sentry to any ship in range, we are being overpowered by the Borg. Repeat, we are being overpowered by the Borg. Send reinforcements to Sector 001 as soon as possible..." Captain Jad Vorezze shot up in bed as those words echoed in his mind. "Lights." The room illuminated a few notches above Jad's preference. He walked over to a replicator and ordered a hot chocolate. 'I've gotta stop reading those real life tragedy novels about Wolf 359.' He thought to himself. "Trouble sleeping?" Peter asked Jad as he walked into the lounge. "I could ask you the same question. It's one in the morning, what the hell are you doing up?" Jad sat down at the bar. "Ben's trying to impress us by moaning in two different voices. I couldn't take it anymore." Peter grumbled, looking at the deserted bar. "I've been having a little too much free time on my hands to begin with. Jad quickly noticed a house, no, a palace of cards sitting on one table. "Dear god you do have too much spare time." "It was weird, though." Pete said. "I had this nightmare. I thought that the USS Sentry was under attack by the Borg. Crazy, huh?" "Not really." Jad nearly inhaled his drink. "I had the same dream." "Could this mean something?" "Well I may have inadvertently sent you that dream." Jad sighed. "But there was something just a little too real about that dream. Maybe we should check to see if we should be worried." "Captain's log, stardate 51099.1: After attempting to contact the USS Sentry on all subspace frequencies and getting nothing, I have decided to tell Starfleet about my dream. Though at first they just burst out laughing and said 'That's a good one, Jad,' they soon realized that I was serious. Therefore, they have started a... a... achoo!, oh that was messy, anyway, they have started to search for any sign of Borg activity. If possible, we'd like to turn the Borg onto the idea of taking on the Dominion. Who's laughing now, Weyoun!?" The bridge was dead silent as they stared at the empty wall where the viewer is. Why didn't someone turn it on? On Jad's last ship they had a viewer that was always on, so why not this one? "Carn, on average, how many ships do we lose per Borg offensive?" Jad turned, breaking the silence. "Given out past two major encounters, we have lost an average of 32.33424504950-" "32 is enough." Jad turned to Ben. "Any word from Starfleet?" "I don't monitor communications, that's Vince's job." Ben said. "Vince?" "Nothing yet, sir. But it is possible that any search ships have been destroyed or assimilated." Tactical officer Vince DiSanto said. "Thank you for that vote of confidence, Commander." Jad turned to Ben again. "How long until we meet up with the Xerxes and the Longfellow?" "I'd bet Vince would like to meet up with my Longfellow." Ben mumbled. "Don't make me smack you!" Vince shouted from his station. "You'd probably like to, wouldn't you." "Oh that's it, you're asking for it!" Vince charged at Ben. "Gentlemen, please." Jad said softly. Vince jumped up and started beating the crap out of Ben. "Cease and desist!" Jad shouted. The two continued fighting. Jad decided to use what little mental persuasion he had by screaming into their minds. "STOP!" Ben and Vince looked up. "Eh, get off of me!" Ben said as he pushed Vince off of him. "With pleasure." Vince said. Ben muttered something under his breath. "I heard that!" "Good, you fruitcake!" "Homophobe!" "Fag!" "Bigot!" Carn walked over to Ben and Tagel walked over to Vince. Both did the Vulcan neck pinch, dropping them to the floor. "Put them on the cot in my ready room until they wake up." Jad said with an evil grin. "Now," He looked at Ben's replacement officer. "How long until we meet up with the Xerxes and the Longfellow?" "Two hours, sir." "Good, I'll be in my ready room." Jad said as he walked off the bridge. "Captain Vorezze wanted me to make sure that you are ready in here." Charlotte said to Commander Riley in engineering. "Yeah, I can get the warp core to eject, but why?" Dave shrugged. "Just in case we need to do some extreme measures. If needed, we can eject the warp core onto the cube and destroy about half of it." "It won't work." Dave protested. "Are you always such a pessimist?" "Just since you walked in." "Captain's log, supplemental: We have rendezvoused with the starships Xerxes and Longellow to form a pathetic mini-fleet just screaming 'Attack us!' However, I have heard some more alarming news. A Borg cubeship was spotted on the edge of Federation space, headed for Earth. Won't they ever give up? Our makeshift armada has set a course to intercept the cubeship before it can reach Earth. This has Wolf 359 written all over it! "On another note, the Jerry Springer rejects I call Ben and Vince have stopped bothering me or anyone else since they woke up in a bed next to each other. Something tells me they'll be describing this to a psychiatrist after climbing a clock tower with a phaser rifle and thinning out the neighborhood." "Two hours until we arrive at Menimar, the closest world to the flight path of the cube." Ben said. "Keep me updated." Jad said as he walked off the bridge. "Shouldn't you stay on the bridge?" Charlotte asked. "We're at red alert." "You think I want to stay here?" Jad asked. "Ha! You have the bridge, Charlotte." Chief engineer David Riley looked up at the massive warp core structure in the center of the room. "Are the new ejection systems in place?" "Yeah." An officer said. "I'm pretty sure that they're foolproof." "That doesn't necessarily cover us however." Dave walked over to a panel on the wall. "What about the power grid? Is that stable?" "Yes." The officer said. "But if the Borg cut into engineering, the grid will be about as stable as the crew's minds." "So noted." "Vorezze to engineering." Jad said over the comm. "Riley here." Dave said. "We'll be arriving at the cubeship's coordinates in about an hour. Is the ship ready?" "Ready as she'll ever be." Dave responded. "The crew on the other hand..." "Yeah, whatever. Vorezze out." "This may be the greatest advance in anti-borg weaponary ever." Brian said as he held up his latest creation in Sickbay. "Stafleet's never made anti-borg weaponary." Charlotte said. "That's why it's the greatest advance." Dr. Issac grinned. Jad looked at the dark blue syrum in the hypospray. "What is it?" "A de-assimilator. It counteracts the Borg nanoprobes that go into a person's system. And since that person isn't hooked up to the Collective yet, then the Borg can't adapt." Brian smiled as he set the hypo down. "You're dedication truly amazes me, shorty." Charlotte said. "Uh oh." Jad slowly backed off. "What did you call me?" Brian asked, his face turning bright red. "Shorty." "No one calls me SHORTY!" Brian screamed. He grabbed a hypospray with a powerful histamine in it and tackled Charlotte, shooting the little buggers into her. "Ahh!" Charlotte said as the histamines caused her nose to run, her eyes to water and every inch of her body to itch. She fell to the floor in a frenzy of itching and tearing. "Keep up the good work, Doc." Jad walked out. Ben walked into the Banshee's primary science lab and spotted Dr. Lang, the head scientist working alone. He wandered up to her. "So Liz..." He began. "No." Liz said. She walked over to another station and began typing something else. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out to dinner on Friday." "We're about to fight the deadliest enemy in Federation history and you want to go out?" Liz said with disgust. "Pick you up at 1900?" Ben asked. "No." "Oh come on. I see the way you stare at me." "I'm trying to figure out how someone could be completely controlled by their carnal instincts." "What does mass murder have to do with this?" Ben asked, confused. "Carnal, not carnage! It means that you're horny beyond belief." Liz backed away again. "I'm sure that you can fix that." Ben said. "With a laser scalpel, maybe." Liz smiled. "You know you want me." Ben said. "Yeah I want you." Liz said. "To go away." They were interrupted as the lights dimmed and flashed red. "Red alert, all hands to battle stations." Jad said over the ship-wide intercom. "Shouldn't you be going now?" Liz asked. "How 'bout a goodbye kiss?" Ben puckered up and closed his eyes. Liz picked up her pet hamster, Zeke, who as keeping her company in the lab and put it up to Ben's mouth. She put it back and Ben opened his eyes. "You're a good kisser." Ben said as he left. "But you might want to shave your moustache" Ben walked onto the bridge as Vince read the sensor readings. "A Borg cube .4 light-years from here and headed for us at warp 9.994. We're being hailed." "On viewer." Jad stood. The wall melted into the image of the massive, hollow cube with thousands of drones in their regeneration pods. "We are the Borg. Resistance is futile. You will lower your shields and surrender you ship. We will add you're technological and cultural distinctiveness to our own. From this time forward, you shall service the Collective." The drones chanted. "Ya see this?" Jad pointed down at his butt. "Vince does." Ben said quietly. "Don't make me hurt you!" Vince shouted. "Ya see this?" Jad pointed to his butt again. "You can just lay your lips right there!" "Vince would." Ben said. "Hey!" Vince screamed. "Not now!" Jad screamed at them. "It would take 9.12 centuries for every Borg to perform such an act. Kissing butts is irrelevant. Resitance is futile." The Collective chanted. "Well why don't you go back the Borg homeworld and think up of a new catch phrase. Resistance is futile is getting old!" Jad said. "Age is irrelevant. Resistance is futile." "So we've heard." Jad said. "But ya know, I don't think you really want to go to Earth." "Why is that?" The collective asked. "Would you believe that it is no longer the Federation capital?" "No. Resistance is futile." "Shut up!" "Shutting up is irrelevant. Resistance is futile." "Vince, open fire." "Aye, sir." Vince said. The Banshee charged forward to the nearing cube and opened fire with quantum torpedoes and phasers on rotating frequencies. "Little effect." Vince said. "The Borg have adapted to all attack from the Sovereign-Class starship." The Collective said. "Resistance is futile." "I could see how that would get annoying." Jad sat back down in his leather command chair. "Contact the Xerxes and the Longfellow and see if they have better luck." The two Ambassador-Class ships moved forward and opened fire. Less effect. The cutting beam lashed out and began to cut into the forward section of the Longfellow's saucer. "They've cut the tip off the Longfellow." Vince said. Charlotte fell to the floor laughing. Tagel finally decided to speak. "Perhaps we should get out of here." The Xerxes exploded and fell into the cube, doing slight damage. "I guess." Jad said. "Ben, set a course for Alpha Centauri, maximum warp. Have the Longfellow follow us." "Vince's longfellow would like to-" "Just shut up and engage!" Jad said. The Banshee and the Longfellow turned and flew off at warp. "Captain's log, stardate 51102.2: After getting our asses kicked in almost ever sense of the phrase. Our merry little mini-fleet is down by one ship, though I never liked the Xerxes anyway. We have arrived at Alpha Centauri, which is the last star in between the Borg and the Terran system. We will do our best to make a stand there, but if we fail, the fleet defending Earth against Dominion attacks will not be able to reach us after having to respond to a distress call from a small Klingon convoy." "I think I have an idea." Tagel said in the observation lounge. "What is it?" Jad asked. "Have any of you people heard of a Trojan Horse?" She asked. Ben shrugged. "A horse with a condom on it?" "You can't put a condom on a horse!" Charlotte shouted. Jad turned. "How would you know?" "No reason." Charlotte sank back into her chair. "Okay!" Tagel continued. "A Trojan Horse was a gift from an enemy army to the people of Troy. The thing was, the horse was filled with a ton of soldiers. The Trojans brought the horse into their city and the soldiers popped out and took over." "How do events in an old Greek war help us?" Ben asked. Tagel smiled. "We can use the Banshee like a Trojan horse. Get the Borg to take us into the cube, then eject the warp core and run like hell!" This only proceeded to confuse most of the crew, but Jad figured it out. "But why would the Borg take us in?" "If we remodulate the warp field, we can mask our life-signs. The Borg would take us in and try to assimilate the Banshee." Tagel smiled. "Ah, I see. So then we eject the core and go out the way we came." Charlotte nodded. "Hello! Where have you been for the past five minutes?" Jad asked. "A drunken haze." Ben laughed. "I don't doubt it." Jad muttered. "Captain's log, supplemental: We have perfectly, saying that alone is a miricle, modulated our warp field so that any life signs aboard the Banshee cannot be detected. Now all we can hope for is that we don't get sliced to pieces before we can detonate the warp core." "The cube is at a distance of 47 million kilometers and closing. They're hailing us." Vince said. "Everybody off the bridge." Jad said. They filed into the ready room and observation lounge. "We are the Borg." The Collective chanted. "You will lower you shields and surrender your ship. Wait a second, there's no one here. You surrendered your ship. Now we will add your biological, wait, if there's no one on board, then, okay technological distinctiveness to our own. Your culture, I mean ship, will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile." After a few moments, the crew walked back onto the bridge. A massive hatch opened in the side of the cube. "It worked." Vince said jovially. "They're locking a tractor beam onto us." "Vorezze to engineering." Jad slapped his com-badge. "Riley here." Dave said over the comm. "Prepare to eject the warp core." "Ejection systems ready." Dave said. "Okay then." Jad closed the transmission. The Banshee entered the dark vastness of the Borg cube. Granted it was among the largest ships in Starfleet, longer than the Galaxy-Class by about 40 meters, it was still tiny compared to the abyss that faced them. "We're nearing the center of the cube." Vince read off his sensor display. "Captain, one question: how do we get far enough away from the cube to escape the warp core breach?" Tagel asked. "It was your idea. You tell me!" Jad said. "I have an idea." Dave said over the comm. "How often do you eavesdrop on us?" Jad asked. "Not often. We can charge the warp nacelles with the impulse engines, but only with warp 1 for about a minute." "Start charging. I want the impulse engines ready to take us out of the cube." "Captain, the Borg are engaging their cutting beams." Vince warned. "Deck 21 has a hull breach." "Warp charge at 41%." Dave said over the comm. "Stand by to eject the core." Jad said. "62%." Dave said. "Ready." "88%." "Aim." "100%" Dave shouted. "Eject!" The warp core slid out of the Banshee with the anti-matter pods. "Get us out of here, full impulse. Fire at will!" Jad shouted. The Banshee moved forward, evading the cutting beams lancing out from all sides of the massive, hollow chamber. "10 seconds until we reach the hatch." Ben said. "9 seconds until the hatch closes." Tagel said. "9 seconds until the warp core explodes!" Dave said over the comm. The hatch grew closer and closer on the viewer, but grew smaller and smaller as the doors began to close. "5 seconds until warp core breach!" Dave shouted frantically over the comm. "We have to go faster!" The Banshee shuddered as it scraped the sides of it's saucer on the closing hatch. "Structural integrity at 48%!" Vince shouted. "We're clear!" Ben said joyously. "Warp 1, engage!" Jad sat down. "Reverse angle on the viewer." On the viewer, the Borg cube was engulfed in a flash of bright light. The Banshee rocked, then dropped out of warp. "We got 'em!" Charlotte shouted and clapped. The whole bridge was filled with hooting and hollering. "Have we?" Jad asked grimly. As the light faded, the Borg cube marched forward, completely unfazed by the explosion. "How the..?" Tagel asked. "That should have worked!" "I guess we're not the only one's who thought of using a warp core to destroy the Borg." Jad sighed. "They must have adapted." "Sir, the cube just headed for Earth at maximum warp." Ben turned. "What do we do now?" Charlotte asked. "The only thing we can do." Jad stood. "Ben, set a course for Earth, full impulse." To Be Continued...