Star Traks: Banshee "A Day in the Life of..." Emily Stokes By Brad Dusen 0630 Hours Counselor Emily Stokes awoke from the sounds of her alarm, the computer playing one of many Christian hymns over the loudspeaker. "Thank you, computer." She said as she emerged from bed. "Lights." Emily stretched, then stared out the window. A small nebula was the only interesting thing that hung in the sea of stars. There was only so much beauty a person could find in watching stars. "Oatmeal with maple syrup and brown sugar and a glass of 1% dairy milk, Earth cow." Emily desired to know just why she had to be so specific. She sat down at her table with the steaming hot breakfast. "Lord, may you bless this food and may it give me the strength to endure another day with these nutballs I share this fine ship with and may you keep Ensign Clarkman from complaining about his new puppy, there's only so much of that I can take. Amen." She finished her prayer and began eating. 0740 Hours "And I keep yelling at him, 'Rex, don't eat the phaser! Rex, don't pee on the PADD! Rex, don't bite the Captain!'" Ensign Clarkman said as he sat in the Counselor's office. "Uh huh." Emily said as she struggled to stay, despite her good night's rest, awake. "Did, with one shred of common sense, try to contact the dog trainer I told you about from Rigel V?" "No, they wanted me to use a chokechain! There is no way that I could put Rex through that!" "Well it would seem that you're more willing to make the dog happy than yourself." "He's only a puppy!" Clarkson protested. "Rex will most likely grow out of it." "Most likely, but that means that there's a good possibility that he won't." Emily said. "You have to take charge of the situation, show that mutt who's the boss." "Yeah!" Ensign Clarkson shot up. "Thank you, Counselor." He marched out of Emily's officer. "Hey Rex, I'm the boss!" He shouted. Emily shook her head. "Imbecile." "Excuse me, Counselor." Emily's secretary said. "It's time for your bridge duty." "Thank you." Emily paused. "Wait a second, who is this? I don't have a secretary." No response. "Never mind." Emily got up and left. 0930 Hours Emily stood in the bathroom just outside the bridge, carefully arranging her thick, dark hair into it's usual painstakingly arranged position. There was a flush in the nearbly stall as Commander Burns emerged. "What is that?" Charlotte glanced at Emily's hair. "What?" Emily looked up from the mirror. "Over here." Charlotte isolated a few strands of hair near the side of Emily's head. Emily examined the strand of hair. "Holy sweet Christ!!" She screamed. "I'm going gray!" "It's just a few strands." Charlotte shrugged. "I'm only thirty years old!" Emily protested. "This isn't right!" She stormed out of the room. "Where are you going?" Charlotte asked. "Sickbay." Charlotte was about to laugh. "And you're the person in charge of our emotional wellbeing?" "Counselor, you're over-reacting." Dr. Issac said as he examined Emily's scalp. "A gray hair at your age is rare, but not anything abnormal." "What if I have some wierd hyper-aging disease or something? I don't want to die in a month." "There are others who wouldn't share your opinion." Brian muttered. "You know, for someone who insists that she's going to a better place, you certainly seem afraid to die." "I'm only about a fifth into my life, I have so much I want to do." "Like what, fight in a crusade?" Emily shook her head. "How can you explain having a gray hair at the age of thirty?" "Can you say 'stress'?" Brian asked. "What stress?" "Clarkman to Stokes, Rex and I are having a fight again." A voice said over her com-badge. "Either get a dog trainer or throw him out the air lock!!" Emily screamed. "Reeooww! Clarkman out." Emily turned, practically a quivering mess. "Now what stress are you talking about." Dr. Issac sighed. "I am ordering you to take the rest of the day off. Cancel your appointments, spend the day in the Twilight Zone, on a holodeck, in a swimming pool, just try to relax." Emily paused. "I could stand to catch up on my Bible studies in the holographic church program." "Actually, that program was deleted to make room for a Risan beach simulation." "Damnation! Fine, I'll just relax in the Twilight Zone." She got up and left. Brian shrugged as he went back to his work. Emily walked back into sickbay. "Do you know where I can get some hair dye?" 1030 Hours Emily sat slumped in a chair in the Twilight Zone, holding a half empty synthaholic wine. "Is there anything else I can get you, Counselor?" Peter walked up to her. "Other than a drink from the Holy Grail?" Emily glared at Peter. "I'm fine." She snapped, the began mumbling, "Stupid Dr. Issac, think's I'm overstressed." "Mind if I join you?" A voice said from behind. It was Commander Dan Smith. "Sure." Emily scooted over to make way for Dan. "What's on your mind." "I hear you're worried about getting old." "Who told you that?" "Dr. Issac." "Bastard!" Emily grumbled. "I found a gray hair this morning and I went on this whole thing about getting old." Emily shrugged. "It's no big deal." "I think it is." Dan said. "You're still young. Sure, maybe not as young as some of the other officers." "Yeah, why is everyone on this ship so young? The captain's 29, Captain Velorn is 30, Commander Burns is 28, Commander Axik 27..." "I know that." Dan said. "I mean the oldest person on the ship is that creepy civilian who always calls me Dana." "You mean old Earl?" "Yeah. I heard he came on board when the Banshee was built and never left." Emily started laughing. "I've never seen this side of you before." Dan said, staring at Emily. "What side of me?" "This side, your 'civilized' side. Most of the time you're preaching religion like Pat Robertson." "It's my belief. You practice occult studies." Emily shrugged. "But I don't believe in those spirits." Dan said, "Except for that one which I accidentally let loose on the ship." The two smiled at each other. Dan leaned over to kiss her. "What are you doing?" Emily shot up. "I was trying to kiss you." Dan shrugged. "You lustful brute! You know I never kiss unless I'm engaged!" Emily stormed out of the Twilight Zone. Peter walked over to Dan. "Smooth, real smooth." "Shut up!" 1445 Hours Emily stormed onto the bridge, still angry over what Dan had tried to do. The nerve of him! Trying to kiss her just because they both had a certain twinkle in their eyes. "Sinful Dan, trying to get me to become a whore and go to hell and burn forever..." Emily grumbled. "What crawled up your ass and died?" Captain Vorezze asked as Emily plunked down in her chair. "Are you propositioning me, too?" Emily asked defensively. "God no!" "Hey, Counselor, I'll go back there." Ben turned and grinned in his usual 'hey there' fashion. "If you put that, that thing anywhere near me, I will replicate some gravel and stone it to a bloody stump." "Never mind." Ben squeaked, turning around in his chair. "What is that?" Vince asked, looking at Emily's head. "What is what!?" Emily snapped, turning to Vince. Vince plucked a hair from Emily's head. "You have a gray hair." Emily snatched the hair and stared at it in disbelief. "Nooooo!" She screamed, running off the bridge. Vorezze sighed, turning back to a game of Pong being played by Ben and Axik on the viewer. "I always knew she'd snap." 1500 Hours "Look at this!" Emily ran into sickbay, still holding the gray hair. "I have another gray hair." "I'm sure it's nothing." Dr. Issac looked up from his medical reports. "Nothing? Look at this." She grabbed Brian's head and drew it closer to the hair. "LOOK!!!" "That's great, Counselor." Brian snapped his head back, rubbing the back of his neck. "Maybe you're just getting old." "Old? You think I'm getting old!?" Emily wanted to slap Brian when she looked in one of the mirrored panels. Several more hairs had gone gray. "Nooo! I'm an old hag! I'm an old hag!" She collapsed into a sulking heap on the floor. "Knew that one." Brian muttered walking back into the medical office. Emily got up and ran out of sickbay. "Mr. Kelso, I need a hair dye!" Emily said as she walked into one of the Banshee's barber shops. "Okay, then. Umm, what color would you like." The barber, Mr. Kelso, asked. "Just give me a black hair dye." Emily snapped. "Super." Kelso said. "I will have you looking SO good by the time this is done, that guys will be flocking all over you." He paused, envying the though. "Hairdressers." Emily shook her head as Kelso began dying her hair. 1530 Hours Emily looked up as her hair finally finished drying. "There, how does it look?" Kelso asked, leading Emily to a mirror. Emily saw herself with a head of bright purple hair. "What did you do to me!?" She screamed. "I said I wanted you to dye my hair black!" "Oh, I thought you said 'black light.'" Kelso explained. "And that's the color of a black light." Emily grabbed Kelso by the shirt and yanked him closer to her. "Dye my hair black, space black, or I will make you sorry you little FREAK!" She screamed. "Yes ma'am." Kelso quickly retreated once Emily let her grasp go. "But I don't have any dye here, you'll have to go to the salon on deck 5." "I can't go out there looking like this!" Emily shouted. "You're going to have to." Kelso shrugged. "Sorry, Counselor." "This is so degrading!" Emily muttered as she walked through the hallways. "Hey, Counselor, nice hair!" A man shouted. "Burn in hell!" Emily responded. "Hey Emily, nice 'doo!" "Rot in purgatory!" She finally came upon the second salon. She walked in and found a female Trill with the nametag reading 'Surana Norlo.' "Hello, Counselor, what can I do for you?" Surana asked. "I'm standing here with a mass of purple hair and you have the audacity to ask why I'm here?" "My apologies." Surana said weakly, seating Emily. "Just give me black hair again!" Emily grumbled. "Sure thing." 2000 Hours Emily walked onto the bridge where she would be meeting Lieutenant Carn for dinner, Carn being the only person on the ship who did not sin as much as the others. As she walked on, everyone started laughing. She knew it wasn't her hair, since the dye had worked perfectly. "What's so funny?" Emily demanded. "April fools!" They all shouted. "Wha...?" "Today is an old Earth holiday called April Fool's day." Charlotte explained. "So we had the computer transport the pigment out of your hair so you would freak out." "I had no part in this!" Carn chimed in. "You little bastards!" Emily shouted. "Perish in flames for what you've done!" Everyone started laughing as she stormed off the bridge. 2300 Hours "God, I thank you for another day's life and hope that you will bless tomorrow. Please bless everyone one the ship, except for other members of the command crew, as they are godless bastards." Emily finished her nightly prayer and crawled into bed where she quickly fell to sleep.